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These are tough times. But with a few little tips, I can make your training of your stay-at-home human a whole lot easier. You just have to remember a few rules.
1. They must be walked. Do whatever you need to do to get them to pick up that leash and go for a walk. Bark, whine, run around the house like a dog possessed, or just stare at the door until they get the hint and take you outside. The sunshine, the exercise and the time with you will do wonders for their attitudes. 2. You must help them with snacks and meals. They went to the store and bought way too much. They need to share or they will be so obese the will be unable to do rule 1. So nudge that knee under the table, use The Eyes, or just wait until they leave it unsupervised and help yourself. Desperate times call for desperate measures. 3. If you happen to overindulge, it's okay. Just throw up on the carpet. It will give them a chance to use that overstock of toilet paper and paper towels. 4. You must keep them busy in the evening. If they are not occupied, they watch far too much news. So chew on something, bring them all your toys and lay them on their feet, or ask to go out - multiple times. If necessary do something drastic - act like you're going to have "an accident" on the carpet. That gets them out of their chair in a hurry, let me tell you. 5. If they are putting together a 1,000 piece puzzle and they drop a piece, do NOT eat it. They will not be happy with you, even if you digest it well and don't throw it up. 6. Remind them of your therapeutic value. Insist on frequent ear scratching, belly-rubbing and snuggling. It's what we do best. Take good care of your humans and we will get through this.
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Maggie
The Care and Training of Your Human Archives
August 2022
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