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These are tough times. But with a few little tips, I can make your training of your stay-at-home human a whole lot easier. You just have to remember a few rules.
1. They must be walked. Do whatever you need to do to get them to pick up that leash and go for a walk. Bark, whine, run around the house like a dog possessed, or just stare at the door until they get the hint and take you outside. The sunshine, the exercise and the time with you will do wonders for their attitudes. 2. You must help them with snacks and meals. They went to the store and bought way too much. They need to share or they will be so obese the will be unable to do rule 1. So nudge that knee under the table, use The Eyes, or just wait until they leave it unsupervised and help yourself. Desperate times call for desperate measures. 3. If you happen to overindulge, it's okay. Just throw up on the carpet. It will give them a chance to use that overstock of toilet paper and paper towels. 4. You must keep them busy in the evening. If they are not occupied, they watch far too much news. So chew on something, bring them all your toys and lay them on their feet, or ask to go out - multiple times. If necessary do something drastic - act like you're going to have "an accident" on the carpet. That gets them out of their chair in a hurry, let me tell you. 5. If they are putting together a 1,000 piece puzzle and they drop a piece, do NOT eat it. They will not be happy with you, even if you digest it well and don't throw it up. 6. Remind them of your therapeutic value. Insist on frequent ear scratching, belly-rubbing and snuggling. It's what we do best. Take good care of your humans and we will get through this.
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My yard is enclosed with a black chain-link fence. I never minded the fence, I assumed it was there to keep Scary Men away. The only time I objected, was when Susan was with me in the yard and then walked through the gate and forgot and shut it behind her before I could follow. Then I poked my nose through the holes and gave her The Eyes.
But when we got home from our Big Trip, I was out in the side yard with Susan on her leash and I found a Tasty Treat. I was just about to gobble it down when Susan forced my mouth open and made me spit it out. How rude. So, a few weeks later I was outside in the backyard by myself and I got to thinking about that Tasty Treat. My nose told me it was still there. And the fence was wiggly right in the part across the side yard. I pushed against it. And then I wiggled my body right under the fence. I ate the Tasty Treat, and I found out how I could take a walk without dragging Susan along! The next day, Gary put some stakes in the yard to hold the fence down. Ha! Those things could be pulled right out. This time, my good friend, Gwen, who lives two houses down, walked me home. How nice of her! Next, Gary tried some pieces of rebar to strengthen and tighten the fence. But, I am very agile. And I went through again. I was liking those walks by myself. Gary thought he could outsmart me. So he stacked bricks all along the bottom of the fence. A little brick is nothing. I just rolled it over, out of my way, and wiggled through. This time a nice man I had never met walked me home. He wasn't even scary. Then Gary went to the lumberyard and got two long boards. He and Susan worked a long time fastening the boards to the posts and the fence to the boards. They think they can keep me in. But I am Houdini Dog. I will show them! |
Maggie
The Care and Training of Your Human Archives
August 2022
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