A morning walk in the woods,
Leaves strewn on my path
Like an afghan covering the shoulders of the earth.
The sun creeps up the towering pines
And peers over the top
Spilling golden light over the pond—round and still and smooth.
The circling maples drip color
Across the water, mirroring so perfectly,
I see no visible boundary between real and reflection.
The forest has shed the quiet
Green of summer,
And Autumn dances her way through the trees.
Susan R. Lawrence
I am like this little lake. Sometimes, I am so full of Jesus, and I reflect the glory and beauty of my Lord. At other times, I show only the murky shadows of what is inside my own selfish heart. Lord, help me be a pure and true reflection of your love today.
2 Corinthians 3:18 And we who with unveiled faces all reflect God's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
Molly, my fearless hiking partner, is waiting to go on the trails at Dolliver Memorial State Park. You can't see it in the photo, but she is literally quivering with excitement. I'm sure she's hoping there will be a place to swim, interesting smells, and that I will let her lead.
She doesn't know what we'll find on the trail. There might be horse flies that bite. There might be steep trails and she'll have to "go behind." There might be other hikers with dogs that snarl and want to bite her.
Whatever is ahead, Molly isn't worried. She trusts me, she knows that I will lead her, and that I will be with her. She is ready for an adventure.
I'm waiting to start down a new path as well.
This is our oldest son, Ben. He's about 40 years older now, but this is the face I see when I'm with him.
He is our miracle--the baby we were told we would never have, the baby I pleaded and prayed for, the baby conceived during a time of fasting and prayer. He grew into a sweet, smart, funny, thoughtful little boy who brought immeasurable delight and joy into our lives. And all too soon he was a man with a family of his own.
We are praying for a miracle again.
Ben has been fighting chronic myeloid leukemia for over two years. He has tried 5 different medications. None have defeated the leukemia, and his body does not tolerate them well. So, in a few months, he will have a bone marrow transplant, a risky procedure with numerous chances of complications.
There are many who love Ben besides his dad and I. He has a wonderful wife, 5 beautiful children, a brother, a sister, and many friends and coworkers. None of us know what the path ahead holds. We're hoping there is healing, restoration, and a full and vigorous life for Ben.
I am not quivering with excitement for this path. But I am trying not to worry. I trust the One who leads us. And I know that He will not send us down the path on our own, He will walk every step with us. And most of all, I know He loves all of us with a love that far surpasses even our own love for Ben.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
I love to walk and take care of my gardens in the morning. I call it "checking the farm" because my heart still believes I'm a farm girl. God blessed me this morning with this beautiful moment.
One of my mom's favorite hymns was In The Garden by Charles Austin Miles. I have sweet memories of my mother singing this song as she worked.
I come to the garden alone
while the dew is still on the roses,
and the voice I hear falling on my ear,
the Son of God discloses.
And he walks with me, and he talks with me,
And he tells me I am his own,
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.
How incredible that the Son of God, the Creator of the Universe, has time to actually walk and talk with us!
"I will walk among you and be your God, and you will be my people." Leviticus 26:12
Mom not only sang the words of In The Garden, she lived them. She spent time every day in the Word, and in prayer. What a wonderful blessing to have a mother who prays for you!
If God wants to walk and talk with us, why would we ever miss the opportunity to meet with Him? We wouldn't think of skipping out on a meeting at work, or our child's school, or a get-together with friends. Why, then, do we casually cast off a meeting with our Savior Jesus? Do you have a favorite "garden," a place where you walk and talk with God? Remember, He's waiting there, waiting to walk and talk.
A few days ago, I walked outside after one of Iowa's frequent summer thunderstorms. The sun emerged from behind the clouds and this perfect rose glowed with beauty, the drops of rain still clinging between her petals.
It brought to memory one of my mother's favorite hymns -- one she would often quote when I had storms in my young life:
Back of the Clouds by Carolyn R. Freeman
Never fear tho' shadows dark around your path may fall;
Do not let your heart be troubled;
From His throne in heaven,
God is watching one and all,
He will ever care for you.
Back of the clouds the sun is always shining,
After the storms your skies will all be blue;
God has prepared a rosy-tinted lining,
Back of the clouds it's waiting to shine thru.
Winter long is over and the spring has gone her way,
Often has the storm clouds gathered,
But the rain has only made the blossoms look more gay...
Given earth a brighter hue.
Keep the light of hope eternal dwelling in your heart,
Rest upon the Father's promise,
And you'll find that care and trouble will depart...
Heaven's peace will enter in.
God never promises there won't be storms in our lives. But He does promise:
He will be with us in the storm: When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, And through the rivers, they will not overflow. Isaiah 43:2
He will give us strength to endure: He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Isaiah 40:29
His blessings never run out: This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. The Lord's loving kindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail, They are new every morning; Great is thy faithfulness.
Whatever storm you are going through right now, may you have the peace of God's promises, and the assurance that, back of the clouds, the Son shines for you.
I recently had this photo made into a canvas print for our newly remodeled bathroom. I chose it because it is a lovely image of a trail in the woods, and no setting brings me more peace and joy. I remember the day I took it, a lovely fall walk with my husband and our beloved dog, Annie, in the Chequamegon National Forest in northern Wisconsin.
The print hung on my bathroom wall for a month and I gazed at it every single day. Not until this week did I notice that Annie is in the picture. She blended in with the yellow leaves of the maple trees so well that I believed this was a photo depicting only a path.
I was delighted to find her in the picture, and now it is impossible to not see her. I gaze at it and not only imagine being on the path, but being with Annie again.
I have a Heavenly Father who places me in living scenes, some of them peaceful and filled with joy, some with heartache that seems unbearable. But just like my photo of the trail, I am not seeing all of the picture.
God, with Divine Wisdom, only allows me to see part of what is happening in my life. Most of His plans and purposes for me are still hidden from my dim eyes. Someday, I will see clearly, and for all of those scenes I don't understand there will be an "ah-hah!" moment. I will see the Big Picture. For now, I have to trust that He is in control, He has a perfect plan for my life, and He will carry me through.
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12
How about you? Did you find Annie? And are you trusting God in the scenes of your life where you don't see clearly?
I have spent the last few months sorting through memorabilia from my husband's and my courtship and wedding. Those years were a time of great angst (yes, I was 18-20 years old!) because during the school year, I rarely saw this man with whom I was madly in love. So, I wrote sappy poems about missing him.
After our wedding, and during our working, raising children, busy time of life, I still missed Gary. He traveled for work--a lot--and I held the fort at home. When he did come home, he was tired and wanted alone time. I was excited and wanted together time.
Now, our life is reversed. We are together almost all the time, especially in this interesting year of the virus. I have to be honest, all the together time has, at times, been a bit much. We have both suggested, hopefully in jest, that perhaps the other one should take a trip.
But, fifty years ago, at the beginning of this journey, we made a commitment to love and honor "till death do us part." And on our spiritual journey, we learned that love is not the fluttery feelings that ebb and flow and sometimes don't even show up for long period of time. Instead:
Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails...but now abide faith, hope, love, these three, but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13
Love is how you act. I have to admit, we have not always done this well. Both of us have been impatient, unkind, arrogant. We have been provoked and kept a running account of the ways we have been wronged. But we kept trying. Marriage is truly the most difficult thing you will do.
But oh, the joy of living life with a best friend! The joy of watching your love expand--3 children, 7 grandchildren. And the joy of serving God together with your spouse. This has been a glorious journey.
I know too well, one of us may be alone again. My sister and several of my friends have lost their spouses. One has gone ahead, while one is left grieving and missing.
So, love well, my friends. Cherish the days that too quickly slip away. Cherish the quiet moments of love, the exuberant days of great joy, and even the shared times of sorrow.
Fifty years has held a lot of moments. And I love him still. Happy 50th anniversary to the love of my life!
My husband, Gary, and I will have been married 50 years this month. So we should have learned a few things about handling conflict. One thing I know, is that 5 months before my marriage, I had no idea. I wrote this paragraph in January of 1970.
Where will God lead me? Us? It's curious and hard to trust completely. Gary is stronger than I, I think, and he doesn't worry. Sometimes I wonder what's ahead. It's exciting being a Christian, and giving Jesus your life. I've given Gary my life, too, or will be in June. That's why we need to be Christians, so we can be one, and there won't be conflicts, I guess. Two will go two ways - mentally as well as physically. One can only go one way.
Oh, how naive I was! I came to the realization rather abruptly in the months following our marriage that Christians are not immune to conflict. We were no longer 400 miles apart, and we argued about everything. We didn't know anything about conflict resolution. But somehow, we made it 50 years. Both of us valued the vows we had made, till death do us part, and we believed in commitment. We loved each other and our Lord. We weathered the conflicts.
And we continue to do so. Stay-at-home orders are not always a picnic with those you love. But we rejoice that God has given us so many years together, three wonderful children, a daughter-in-law, and 7 grandchildren to broaden our love, and adventures too numerous to count. So we still weather the conflicts.
This picture was taken at Christmas before our wedding in June. The man to my right is my brother and his son is on Gary's lap. That little boy was our ring bearer in our wedding.
The same weekend I wrote the paragraph on conflicts, I also wrote this poem:
Oh to be in your arms again!
Sweet heaven again.
It's been so long I've been away.
Tell me that you love me, love me, love me,
And I will stay.
Surely, I've never loved before -
This is, oh, much more.
Hold me, hold me, hold me,
And I'll not leave again.
Of course, I did have to leave. We both had our spring semesters of college to complete before June. But Gary had track to keep him busy, and I had wedding plans and preparations.
In 1969, if you lived in a college dormitory, this was what happened when you got engaged. Gary surprised me with a ring (after telling me he couldn't afford one, but secretly working at a bowling alley to make enough to purchase it.) His brother, Paul, got married in Cedar Rapids in October, and he was in the wedding and I was his guest. The Friday night before, he drove up to UNI. We went for a drive and he asked me to marry him. I said yes.
Did you capture all the warmth,
The glow, the joy,
Utter soaring ecstacy,
All beauty of our love?
Did you concentrate it, and set it thus
In a band of silver?
That must be why it sparkles, dances,
All light, all shine,
Little mirror of our love.
Gary was leaving for his second year of college at Emporia State Teacher's College. I would be leaving for my first year at University of Northern Iowa a few weeks later. We dated 400 miles apart, mostly through letters. I had no idea how much I would miss him.
This is the poem I wrote a few weeks after this picture was taken:
How many miles between us?
Let there be no miles tonight.
Wish on a star -
The star that touches the tree outside,
And I'll wish on the same.
Sigh to the moon -
The moon that caresses my window
And my sigh will be the same.
Whisper a prayer -
A prayer to the God that listens
And the same God will listen to me.
And your wish, your sigh, and your prayer
Will touch me
And you'll be here.
In a few weeks we will be celebrating 50 years of marriage. As a way of celebrating, I will be posting some of the poems I wrote for my future husband. Most of them are 60's sappy and not even good poetry, but all of them are a reminder of how quickly times slips away. Love well today.
These are lyrics I wrote 45 years ago. My very talented friend, Margo Edwards, set my words to music and together we directed a little children's musical about Noah and the animals on the ark.
Ever since, these songs come back to me at odd times, usually when I need to hear the message they convey. During my isolation the song Faith is Believing became an ear worm in my head. I spent a long time looking through boxes of old writing (yes, I did write many years on paper only!) for this particular song.
And, it seems an appropriate message for our pandemic-weary souls.
So this is for those of you that are overseeing children's schooling at home, for those of you working from home, for those who have been laid off, or had a business that closed, those who are working on the front lines, or just those of you concerned about all that is happening in our world.
Faith is Believing
Faith is believing in what you can't see,
Knowing that God will provide.
Faith is just knowing that He is in charge,
Always walking by your side.
Faith doesn't doubt Him or worry or stew,
Faith doesn't question why,
For God knows what He's doing after all,
He's smarter than you or I!
Faith is just building an ark when you're told,
And taking a long boat ride,
Knowing that God knows the "whys and the wheres,"
If you'll let Him be your guide.
These weeks do seem like a very long boat ride. But, I do know, like Noah, that all I need to do is build the boat when He tells me. He's in charge of where the boat takes me.
Cast all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
Susan Lawrence taught elementary school for 33 years before hanging up her chalkboard to write and speak. She writes novels for both adults and middle grade children. Susan lives in Iowa with her husband and short-legged Lab, Molly. She has 3 children and 7 grandchildren who love to hear her stories.